I wanna bring you to show and tell
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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