You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
