what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We're too hungover to prance.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
