one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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