Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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