She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
