We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
