the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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