Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
