areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
