FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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