Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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