I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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