I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
