it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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