ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
