Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
