I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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