My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
