We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
