I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
