it hurts more in the daytime
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
