Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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