Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
