i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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