When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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