i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
