We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
