guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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