Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize