i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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