everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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