i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
