do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
