Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
