I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
where are my eyebrows?
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