i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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