Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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