Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just high enough for therapy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
