How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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