Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
