I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize