We're like a lot better than the average bears
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
