she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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