i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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