You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Randomize
