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You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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