This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
