I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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