I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
