My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
