Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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