Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They have beer where we have blood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
