I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
