i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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