Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
