Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
