Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i've created a new STD.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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