You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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