You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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