I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
