I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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