I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
