Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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