32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
