there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
