He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
