It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My breasts were aching with rage.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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