At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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