This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
