Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
